To fully love requires a deep understanding and acceptance that all humans are perfectly imperfect. Once it is fully believed by the self that perfection is an illusion and tantamount to inner suffering rather than happiness, a shift in perception can truly occur. The spirits who have been profoundly penetrated and rise up in love and light are inevitably going to ascend to a higher state of consciousness. These are the souls who will increase the overall energetic composition of the universe. They will only ascend others by leading by example and not by the imposition of judgment.

In times of pure chaos and destruction and severe moral depravity, do anything that you can to escape the thoughts of panic, fear and terror and embrace anything that promotes LOVE, whatever it may be. Love will always prevail.  It is the absolute and supreme law, unwavering and omnipotent for eternity.

Orlando is a place that I have experienced as an energetic vortex; a canvas which has displayed a polarity of competing energies that represent the darkness and the light that resides in each human being who inhabits this Earth. It is the place that has exposed me to the most exquisitely disturbing display of human behavior that was so morally repugnant to my former perception of how civilized humans should act that it almost killed me. But after a LOT of thought, research, self analysis, endless hours of dialogue, and encounters with other humans that could not be relegated to coincidence or serendipity, I became close allies with the truth. This truth is universal in nature, devoid of judgment, replete with logic, science, and a paradoxically profound simplicity.

“The beautiful thing about pain is that when it diminishes and ceases to enslave the mind, body and soul, a magnificent strength is borne that heals and transforms; pain is empowering and necessary for human evolution. It breeds compassion, empathy, and deep gratitude for the moments that are devoid of pain. Without pain, there would be no self-improvement, evolution or even love. There is no life or beauty in the absence of pain.”

So without darkness, there is no light. It is because of the profound energy that erupts from acts which the universe defines as “malicious” or “evil” that the universe is forced to see the light, the truth and the unveiling of the fear based facade. The global energetic state of humans currently requires such an egregious act to take place in order for us to pay attention to the truth. But please, do not allow the distraction of propaganda and the conjecture of many individuals who have ulterior motives which rely upon desperate and vulnerable souls to further hypnotize you and exercise mind control over your most previous gift: your beautiful thoughts. No matter how painful it seems to closely examine the genesis or the root cause of moral depravity or the deprecation of self, I promise you that the truth is far less traumatizing than the heinous fabrications, delusions, lies and deceit that are based on the anti-thesis of the truth and intended to plague your mind, body and soul and energetically deplete you.

You have a choice to take the easy way out here and cast hate, shift blame and wallow in despair and disgust. But to do so would be committing an act of soul suicide and will not serve any entity in the universe. To combat this phenomenon of self hate and the abomination of the self due to emotional repression, FEEL PAIN, sadness, grief, and most importantly LOVE and release it back to the universe by converting the energy into something positive. That will mathematically elevate the vibrations of this moment in time and this will inevitably give significance to the actions of the tortured humans involved in this display and foster some real change.

Times of tragedy and tribulation serve as a powerful growth opportunity for the spiritual warrior, committed to walking the path of righteous spiritual wholeness.  As God’s potential jewels, the apostle John reveals to us through inspiration the New Jerusalem resplendent with all kinds of precious stones. (Revelation 21:9-21) The rich descriptions of the New Jerusalem which God has prepared for us surely will contain only the jewels that are perfected by their Maker (Revelation 21:27)

So, we have some work to do before we attain the status of a jewel. Will we allow God to shape, form and polish us into a finished product worthy of serving others in the Kingdom? Allow God to transform us by going to Him on our knees each and every day as we rise up, as we go out, and as we come in, and in all the in-between times when He is just waiting for us to cry out to Him. Philippians 3:20-21 says, “For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.”

We were all intentionally placed together by the Father in accordance to His perfect divine will, which is never the result of random occurrence absent a sophisticated and intricate design.  We could not have each consciously chosen the other one with the intention of being the exact catalysts to the healing and spiritual growth that is absolutely necessary for us to whole heartedly accept the free gift of Christ’s love that is sufficient for all sin that entered the DNA of man thus corrupting the absolute perfection of His exquisite architecture and formula for our existence on Earth. It was perfect in the beginning when He created us so that we could sit back and enjoy His labor and the absolute perfection that only He could design as the omniscient and omnipotent Holy One.

Humans have been afforded the choice of free will and are responsible only for the spiritual ramifications of each decision made as each of us are presented with a moment in time and the subsequent resistance or complete acceptance of the energy.  There is no identical simple formula or universal mechanism in operation for all human beings as they receive and process sensory experiences in their life.  Some moments will inspire the revelation of profound truth and healing for someone that could shift their entire perception of reality while others will produce a tear from a place deep within one’s heart without the need for any cognitive functioning or deeper processing in the body.  It is just the natural beauty of the energetic flow that exists between people who are channeling the Holy Spirit of God, which is undeniable truth that exists for all of His creation buried beneath layers of trauma and eventually being the foundation for all humans to relate effortlessly because it is the core of the soul connecting us all to one another and more importantly to the heart of GOD.

I am a broken human and full of emotions, memories, judgments of myself and others, and that is how I relate to others and feel the beauty in all.   I relate to the brokenness of my fellow human, for it is in this place that we can find deep comfort because healing and restoration in the name of God will fill up the cracks and bring us supernaturally to a place of rebirth as the Holy Spirit of peace, comfort, love, compassion, grace and ultimate forgiveness enters our fractured and fragmented broken spirit and we can receive life anew as the Creator intended.  So many of us reject the gift of the Spirit of Christ and subconsciously and consciously feel that it is too good to be true and so totally repugnant to everything that we have ever been told about who we are.  Sin is the result of a defect of the divine perfection and the natural consequence of humans defying the will of God the Father, which is not the same for each one of us.  He thoughtfully crafted each one of us with creative and intricate sacred concepts, knowing best for us and understanding how His children experience His love and manifest His spirit in very different ways.  Love is the ultimate objective and it sure does not happen overnight.  That would be quite boring and stagnant, which is not the way in which the Holy Spirit of God grows and becomes more perfect and pure with each divine assignment that He thoughtfully and intentionally blueprinted for us, considering all of the laws of His Kingdom working together to sustain perfection without any moment being even slightly out of place.

I seem to be the source of much emotional charge for most everyone who I come into contact with.  That is good.  That means you are feeling the exact emotion that you must feel in order for growth to take place, shifting of the spirit in one way or another as there is a union of so many energies that meet at a single moment and produce a change in the former order.  My consistent prayer has always been for my pain to be used for the healing of others and to ultimately exalt and praise God the Father, the master choreographer of all that is and ever shall be.  As it turns out, the ultimate blood sacrifice of the blood of Jesus Christ, the only Son of God was sufficient for all sin thus rendering any other human sacrifices as superfluous and unnecessary.  I have realized that I am not glorifying God to engage in masochism and senseless suffering devoid of any personal joy and that is not the best way to serve God at all! Silly me.   The will of the Father is for us all to experience the totality of human emotions so that we can truly and fully understand one another and have a heart that is in tune with Jesus Christ so that we can have genuine connection and fellowship with Him and all of the other members of the Body of Christ.

I do not wish to intellectually debate, judge or otherwise play the role of God in your lives or the lives of my fellow brother and sister. I do know that my heart was desiring and willing divine perfection and a final defeat of any satanic imperfections in the form of thought, emotion or any other whimsical bout of nonsense or brilliance, depending on how it is perceived.  I I am truly sorry for any words that I spoke that caused pain that were not truthful, and trafficked gossip, sorrow, and insanity.  I am a fool at times.  I repent of this.

Perhaps I was wrong for thinking that I could serve God’s will from such a place of self-hate and condemnation, but I do believe that all things are possible with God and that prayers coming from a place of pain and humility are heard and answered.  I do not think the Father wants me to die for the prospect of saving or redeeming others.  But I do not know anything other than it is my wish and prayer for my life and all experiences that I have to be used for the exaltation of His glorious name and not for the Satanic suffering.

I am your friend, a human being, flawed and imperfect at that.  Please do not see me as any more or less.  I come in peace and love and leave the same.  After such an exchange of emotional energy and words, I am not sure how this could really serve anyone further in the spirit of love, grace and truth since it is clear that you have such immense disdain for me based on your initial reactions and presumptions that are not from a place of depth or careful consideration.  You have both made up your minds and have conviction of my intentions, actions, words, and attack me with such ravage absolute truths that I cannot even offer anything that you will entertain.  It’s just mean.  You are not friends.  You are my enemy and have chosen to now paint me in a false and slanderous way that taints my character and corrupts the very core of my nature.  My actions mean nothing.

“Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:11-12)

I don’t know what is real and what is fake anymore.  I am still the same person, with a heart that is open and wide, but fear still lingers and creeps in the hidden parts of the soul and when it is released, it can seem to control everything and put me into a panic state in which all I feel is imminent death and raging terror all at once.

Dear God, my Father in Heaven, I am sorry for my sins.  I am sorry for not being able to love like you do.  I have fallen short of the glory of you, have broken the laws and commandments set for your people so that we can experience your love here on Earth, but for a moment.  I still dream and aspire to have love again.  Please heal me Father God.  There is a hole in my soul that bleeds a seemingly endless stream of pain that breaks my heart every day just a little bit more.  I am fractured and fragmented, lost and confused, desperately wanting answers and truth but only finding solace in your Word.

Was it real God?  Did he mean it?  Was his heart ever connected to mine and to you and was this promise in vain or does it defy all semblance of what love is?  Only you know Father God, in the highest of heavenly domains, what remains of this now.

Please allow for your will to be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Whatever shall be bound on earth shall be bound in heaven.  If it is your will for us to come together in the name of unconditional godly divine love, then I pray for this my dearest Father. I come to you with a humble heart with tears streaming down my face and sorrow in my soul.

I will not let these moments of torment and pain harden my heart and turn my back on the dreams that have fed my heart and kept me hoping for the end of this suffering and imprisonment that I have chosen for myself.  I will keep on loving.  In Jesus name.

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